11mth - sleeping issues - lost & confused

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11mth - sleeping issues - lost & confused

Postby Michelle » Thu 25 Jul, 2013 12:12 pm

Hi
I spoke to a lovely Ngala lady a few months ago in regards to my baby (then 8-9mths) waking in the night for 1-3hrs with wind (farting).

I visited a chiropractor who after 8 sessions over 1 month helped but could no longer afford to go. I experienced maybe 5 nights where she slept through until her usual morning feed at 4.30-5am until she what I thought had a cold, as she was waking during the night coughing!
After taking her to the doctors (now 10mths) he diagnosed her with reflux and put her on an antacid medication. This stopped the coughing during the night and seemed to help her sleep longer during the day -ie. having a 2 1/2hr nap in the morning where she would only sleep 1 1/2 hr max usually.
This has been great however I still have the issue with night waking (with wind) and have only had 2 maybe 3 nights per month where she has slept until her am feed.

I now feel I have created the issues with her sleep. Is she waking with wind but then not able to put herself to sleep because I always ssh her and pat her to sleep? Can she not self settle with out me there which is why she is up for 2hrs during the night crying? Am I not reading her signs correctly because I'm so over tired myself?

I thought today I would try and let her fall asleep on her own and not go to her until she cried. I put her down at 9.30am her normal nap time, she played and sung for 30mins then started crying. I went into her and ssh'd her but didn't pat her and left her....I ended up by sshing & patting her to sleep after 10mins of crying. My problem is that if I had of ssh'd and patted her at 9.30am when I first put her down she would have been asleep with in 5mins.

She's still asleep now which leaves me with my 2nd problem - How do I fit a 2nd day sleep in when I have to do school pick up right when she will need to go down again!?

Looking for anymore ideas you can give me. What am I doing wrong?
Michelle
 
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Re: 11mth - sleeping issues - lost & confused

Postby NgalaOnline » Thu 25 Jul, 2013 4:47 pm

Hi Michelle
Thanks for your post. In summary, you certainly aren’t doing anything “wrong”. You have supported your daughter with her sleeping and you have enabled her to make some great advances with her settling, in particular her day sleeps which are now so much better.
You ask “Is she waking with wind but then not able to put herself to sleep because I always ssh her and pat her to sleep? Can she not self settle with out me there which is why she is up for 2hrs during the night crying? Am I not reading her signs correctly because I'm so over tired myself?”.
In response to this it is always particularly hard when you are feeling very tired yourself to see how far you have come. It appears that you have worked really hard on helping your daughter through some tricky times. Perhaps you could now try gradually stepping back with your input, perhaps trying to gradually drop either the shush or the pat. This could be done very slowly so that your daughter still feels much supported by you. Even patting/shushing for a slightly shorter time bit by bit can be a great start. If she settles, try stopping the shush or the pat and then see what happens. Leaving your hand firmly on her may add just enough support for your baby and you may be able to sit with her, whilst not shushing or patting. From here you can gradually try other supports such as moving your hand onto her mattress and seeing how she copes with this.
In terns of your settling today, it is often a good idea to give your little one the chance to try and settle herself before your intervene. The more practice she gets the more likely it is she will be skilled and happy to calm and soothe herself in the future. Even though this can be frustrating for you (knowing you could have settled her in 5 minutes) it gives the opportunity for your baby to try, and this is a really important part of skill acquisition. As she did play and sing for 30 minutes she was possibly trying to wind down and prepare for sleep so this is a good step. Perhaps spending some time on wind down in your babies room prior to sleep could help her, for example using some music, cuddling or singing. It may be that this part of the process could begin prior to 0930 so that she is well prepared for her morning sleep.
Admittedly it might be hard to fit in that second sleep at this stage due to school runs etc. We would hope that the more practice your baby has in the first part of the morning the more likely it is she will manage to settle herself more quickly. Then it should be easier to fit in an earlier catnap or a sleep slightly later after you return. If she has had a good morning sleep you may able to delay the afternoon sleep a little, but you may as a consequence need to support her a little more for that settling. For now, perhaps concentrating on giving your baby time to practice settling during the morning may be a good place to start.
Sometimes this process can feel quite confusing and at some stages frustrating and it is usual to question what you are doing. If you able to reflect on how many great changes you have made this can help you to forge ahead with small steps.
Hopefully this information may help, but please do call the Ngala Helpline again should you wish to discuss this further.
Good luck Michelle.
This information is general in nature and should not be used as a substitute for the personalized assistance that can be received from the Ngala Helpline by telephone.

For families residing in Western Australia you can also contact the
Ngala Helpline
Telephone 9368 9368 or 1800 111 546 for country access
Available 7 days a week, 8am to 8pm
or request a callback online http://www.ngala.com.au/Ngala-and-You/Ngala-Helpline/Contact-Ngala-Helpline-Online

For helplines in other Australian states please follow this link
http://www.ngala.com.au/You-and-Your-Family/Web-Based-Resources
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